Religion and Limiting Beliefs

Religion: As a supportive therapist, I would never presume to pass judgment on someone’s long-cherished Faith in a so-called fundamentalist religion. After all, I’m working with each individual’s “limiting beliefs”, so what a person’s limiting belief may be regarding that Faith is not necessarily the Truth, even though they believe it to be true. For someone else, that limiting belief is not true. So, in my Practice, it’s not my job to judge a limiting belief as a basic tenant of that Faith. It’s true for the client, and it’s my job to walk her through letting go of that limiting belief and forgiving herself for allowing it to affect her life in some way. Compare this with a traditional Faith, not a so-called “fundamentalist” Faith. For example, even though there is documentation that clergy have molested little boys, ruining their lives, and seemingly getting just a slap on the hand, there are still new members joining that Faith, and old members clinging to it. So, while, for some, that Faith has associated with it a limiting belief that’s far from good, for others, that Faith is a wonderful haven. Each view is true for each respective individual.

 
Very few of my clients come from fundamentalist religion. Most of my clients come from a background of traditional religion and they have their limiting beliefs, as well. I don’t believe that the Faith, itself, is necessarily the guilty party. In my experience, limiting beliefs are influenced by parents and other authoritative figures. A particular religion may seem like the worst thing to some people, while, to others, it is cherished. A cult is only a cult to those who don’t believe in it. Any religion can be labeled a cult. But that’s another topic.

What’s the comparison? What percentage of clients have I had with a background from traditional religion and what percentage of clients have I had with a background from a fundamentalist religion? It can be a challenge to hold back in our personal opinion with a client when it comes to religion, especially if it’s an area we’ve had to work out in our own lives.

Intention and Prayer for Weight-Loss

Did you ever think of Prayer or Intention as an aid to weight-loss? Prayer and/or Intention make the food we eat take on a holiness. We benefit when we honor the food we eat.
An Intention is a form of Prayer. Some pray before a meal, others pause for an intention of appreciation. Have you  noticed when observing a family that prays together before a meal, generally there is not an extreme weight-management issue?
Some say a prayer of thanks before eating a meal, a way of honoring that meal or food, communicating with God, honoring that you appreciate that he provided food as nourishment for your pleasure and to keep you healthy, alive and beautiful. The meal, then, takes on a more sacred identity, instead of merely being something to satisfy a hunger pang.
Prayer or Pause for Intention becomes an act of honoring the fact that, before God ever brought Man into the world, he prepared the earth for Man. He jump-started the vegetation and all the cycles of nature so that the earth and nourishment and beauty would already be thriving when he brought man onto the scene.
We honor the meal with prayer or an intention to appreciate what it is: nourishment, beauty, Life!, nurturing our body and our being. This helps keep food in a sacred place. We will be more likely to give attention to how we eat, how slowly we eat, how our meal is used by our body and mind, and how our body will tell us when it has had enough!

When you lose your home...

With the recent destroying by fire of the beloved Inntiquity Inn in Logansport, not only ending a long-time family business, but also the home of the owners, who befriended and welcomed so many guests into their home, I share some of my thoughts on the grief of losing a home.  

You can lose a house in various ways: through divorce, foreclosure – no longer able to pay for it, you move, the death of a loved one, fire, flood, hurricane, tsunami, war and other disasters.

A house has a personality. It takes on personal characteristics, it breathes a personality, and those who live there relate to it and feel it. Our house may feel friendly, where we feel cozy, “at home”, safe, comfortable, peace. It may feel hostile, where we feel anxiety, resentment, repelled by the “air”, the furnishings, the memories, or by the episodes in our life while we’re living in that house. Our experiences while living in a certain house affect the personality of the house. A house, personified, has been witness to our daily life, our disappointments, our conversations, our meals, our frustrations, our arguments, our triumphs, our sleep, our family dynamics, our loves and our loses.

Losing a house or moving to a new house can make us feel we’ve lost some of our identity. Especially children or teens can feel a loss of identity in leaving a house they called “home”.

So, when we lose our home, we grieve, either short-term or long-term. It can be like a death of the house. The house died and some of our identity died with it. If it was a place we loved, we grieve the loss of a friend, a haven, a personality. If it was a place where we had stressful and tragic experiences, we grieve the loss of the home that we were not able to fix, the haven that never existed, the personality that was a part of our unhappiness; and we grieve the loss of time spent in that house under unhappy circumstances. So our experiences affect our perception of our house’s personality.

When your home is destroyed by fire, it is much worse because you lose a big part of your identity. You lose all your clothes, your shoes, your important papers, keepsakes from childhood, Mom and Dad’s precious things and memories, your tools and products for grooming in the morning: tweezers, clippers, nail files, brushes, combs, lotions, soap, hair products, skin products… the list goes on… Cleaning products, kitchen gear, cameras, photographs, computers, jewelry, medicines, books, tools, antiques…

Now we’re faced with developing a new relationship with a new house, becoming compatible with a new house personality. This is why moving to a new house and leaving a former house is near the top of the list of the most stressful things in life. Some people actually need therapy for relief from the grief they carry, but most people never have the pleasure of proper therapy. Some miss their “home” so much that the effects are carried into other pursuits, such as school, business and work. Children grieve a move which may include a new school. They grieve the loss of the neighbors to whom they became accustomed. Children grieve the loss of a home although parents usually don’t recognize the symptoms. Some people carry that grief for many years, feeling displaced and actually homeless.

This type of trauma is a form of PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is much like the trauma experienced by people in a war zone whose houses are destroyed. They become displaced persons.

Therapy can restore a sense of belonging. Naturally Restored Holistic Emotional Technique can bring great relief to one who has grieved the loss of their beloved home.  It can help people to let go of the limiting beliefs surrounding such a trauma, whether a house destroyed by fire or a house lost through other events.

I forgive myself for believing my life is destroyed because I lost my house.

I forgive myself for believing I will never have my life back again.
I forgive myself for believing my identity has been lost.
I forgive myself for believing I can never rebuild my life.
I forgive myself for believing that I died with that house.
I forgive myself for believing that I have to go back and change things before I can be happy.
I forgive myself for believing that if I don’t change things, I can never have a life that I love.
I forgive myself for believing I’m weak and therefore unable to heal.
I forgive myself for believing I have to feel guilty for losing my house.
I forgive myself for believing it was somehow my fault.
I forgive myself for believing I had to be in control.
I give myself permission to heal from the loss of my house.
I give myself permission to accept that my house is not my true identity.
I give myself permission to embrace another home as a new chapter in my life.
I give myself permission to embrace my quality of resilience that was always mine.
I give myself permission to accept that accidents and unforeseen occurrences happen all the time to many people.
I give myself permission to accept that it’s ok to not be the one in control.
I give myself permission to grieve the loss of my home.
I give myself permission to look at this in a new way.
I give myself permission to move from grief to acceptance and to the emerging light of a new era in my life.
I love and accept myself letting go of blame.
I love and accept myself as the individual I’ve always been wherever I’ve lived.
I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’ll have to move house again.
I love and accept myself finding a home wherever I live, now and continuously.
Without these negative emotions, I’m free to love and heal.

Let it Go

A limiting belief is a thought or idea that you chose to accept as reality at some point, based on your perception of an event or relationship at that time. It prevents you from going beyond your self-imposed reality. By transforming your limiting beliefs into limitless beliefs, you transcend your current reality and broaden your ability to give and receive love, heal and discover new perspectives you may never have realized existed. You have Options! Letting go means you are free to live in your reality now, no longer feeling you are obligated to be burdened by carrying all the old baggage. You're giving yourself permission to see new perspectives and new situations. www.soulrestored.net

Reading List and Links

You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay
www.louisehay.com
The Miracle In Water, by Masaru Emoto
http://www.amazon.com/The-Miracle-Water-Masaru-Emoto/dp/1451608055

Forgive and Let Go

Let Go:
Be kind to yourself. Have compassion for yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for
expecting too much from yourself. Forgive yourself for blaming yourself.
It's OK to be average. It's OK to excel, doing so with joy, humility and gratitude for the experience.
"Show up" for your place in family and Life.
"Pay attention" to your needs.
"Tell the truth", be truthful to yourself.
  If we can do these things, then, we can
"Let go" of what we can't control.

Family Constellations Review

REVIEW OF BERT HELLINGER'S WORK AND THE BOOK "Family Constellations" by Joy Manee & Bert Hellinger. (Disclaimer: This is a review of the book, not the opinion of this writer.) Every person ever born into your family must be honored in his or her assigned place in the family alignment. Bert Hellinger's works prove that this is essential for peace for you and your descendents. If a family member is excluded, forgotten, never mentioned, shunned, ignored in his/her rightful place, there are consequences within the next 2 or 3 generations involving another family member. If a family member is excluded from recognition of his place because of a seemingly unacceptable lifestyle or personality trait, even criminal, a similarity will show up in a near-future generation to offset the imbalance of honor in the family. Example: if a child has died but is never properly mourned, but instead the family is silent about it, a later child may feel compelled to take their place, as if, 'well, if you can't mourn him, how about you mourn me?' Likewise, if a current family member is identified as a criminal or with unacceptable behaviour, probably research will reveal a not-too-past ancestor showed similar traits that were hushed up, or he was ignored, excluded, disowned. The law of balance will result in a family member identifying with another.
We all belong to a family, a country, a community, a religion, an ethnic group, a clan, etc. We thrive when these are acknowledged and honored.
ADOPTION: In adoption situations, the adopted child and adoptive parents must honor the birth family in which the child was born. Adoption works best when the adoptive parents understand that they are substitute or surrogate parents, not a replacement. The adopted child needs to feel that where he came from has been rightfully honored. His birth parents are honored for giving him/her life, for passing on traits and gifts from his/her long line of ancestors, even though he may never know them. He has an inherent need to know that his birth family is honored for who they are. If his/her birth family is not honored, is excluded or never ever mentioned as real, emotions will show up in the adopted one that will reveal an emptiness, a feeling of not belonging, negative attitudes, or for some, behavior problems and challenges. When the adopted one's birth family is acknowledge and accepted, there can be a sense of peace within.
ABORTION and Invisible Dynamics: (This is in no way a discussion of the right or wrong of abortion, but, is a review of the concept of Family Dynamics.) In the case of abortion, if the aborted child is never given his/her place as part of the family, an imbalance in the family will show up in some way - even if the mother never reveals that she had the abortion. This is how Invisible Dynamics energy works. Even though it was a short life, that little one was either a sibling, a niece or nephew, a grandchild, an aunt or uncle, etc. The child is a relative of the family. The parents need to mourn the child and they may have already done that. The child should be acknowledged for his/her place and honored like any other family member. Excluding a family member from his/her place will put in place "invisible dynamics" where a sibling or family member in the next generation will feel compelled to identify with the excluded family member. Identifying with the un-mourned, unrecognized, child may result in another child taking his/her place in an early death. Better for the mother and father to mourn the child they never knew than to have to mourn a child or grandchild they know. Family relationship is about giving and taking, parents and children give and take emotionally. Parents always give more. The aborted child gave his/her life for the sake of the family, as the mother made the decision that it was best for the family. (Albeit, sometimes she is persuaded by older family members in her decision.)
Benefits of Family Constellations: A proper Family Contellation session will balance family relationships, promote healing and peace and inspire individuals to step up and take their proper place in the family as father, mother, first-born, etc. The concept has benefitted many families in re-establishing harmonious relationships.