Family Constellations Review

REVIEW OF BERT HELLINGER'S WORK AND THE BOOK "Family Constellations" by Joy Manee & Bert Hellinger. (Disclaimer: This is a review of the book, not the opinion of this writer.) Every person ever born into your family must be honored in his or her assigned place in the family alignment. Bert Hellinger's works prove that this is essential for peace for you and your descendents. If a family member is excluded, forgotten, never mentioned, shunned, ignored in his/her rightful place, there are consequences within the next 2 or 3 generations involving another family member. If a family member is excluded from recognition of his place because of a seemingly unacceptable lifestyle or personality trait, even criminal, a similarity will show up in a near-future generation to offset the imbalance of honor in the family. Example: if a child has died but is never properly mourned, but instead the family is silent about it, a later child may feel compelled to take their place, as if, 'well, if you can't mourn him, how about you mourn me?' Likewise, if a current family member is identified as a criminal or with unacceptable behaviour, probably research will reveal a not-too-past ancestor showed similar traits that were hushed up, or he was ignored, excluded, disowned. The law of balance will result in a family member identifying with another.
We all belong to a family, a country, a community, a religion, an ethnic group, a clan, etc. We thrive when these are acknowledged and honored.
ADOPTION: In adoption situations, the adopted child and adoptive parents must honor the birth family in which the child was born. Adoption works best when the adoptive parents understand that they are substitute or surrogate parents, not a replacement. The adopted child needs to feel that where he came from has been rightfully honored. His birth parents are honored for giving him/her life, for passing on traits and gifts from his/her long line of ancestors, even though he may never know them. He has an inherent need to know that his birth family is honored for who they are. If his/her birth family is not honored, is excluded or never ever mentioned as real, emotions will show up in the adopted one that will reveal an emptiness, a feeling of not belonging, negative attitudes, or for some, behavior problems and challenges. When the adopted one's birth family is acknowledge and accepted, there can be a sense of peace within.
ABORTION and Invisible Dynamics: (This is in no way a discussion of the right or wrong of abortion, but, is a review of the concept of Family Dynamics.) In the case of abortion, if the aborted child is never given his/her place as part of the family, an imbalance in the family will show up in some way - even if the mother never reveals that she had the abortion. This is how Invisible Dynamics energy works. Even though it was a short life, that little one was either a sibling, a niece or nephew, a grandchild, an aunt or uncle, etc. The child is a relative of the family. The parents need to mourn the child and they may have already done that. The child should be acknowledged for his/her place and honored like any other family member. Excluding a family member from his/her place will put in place "invisible dynamics" where a sibling or family member in the next generation will feel compelled to identify with the excluded family member. Identifying with the un-mourned, unrecognized, child may result in another child taking his/her place in an early death. Better for the mother and father to mourn the child they never knew than to have to mourn a child or grandchild they know. Family relationship is about giving and taking, parents and children give and take emotionally. Parents always give more. The aborted child gave his/her life for the sake of the family, as the mother made the decision that it was best for the family. (Albeit, sometimes she is persuaded by older family members in her decision.)
Benefits of Family Constellations: A proper Family Contellation session will balance family relationships, promote healing and peace and inspire individuals to step up and take their proper place in the family as father, mother, first-born, etc. The concept has benefitted many families in re-establishing harmonious relationships.